LIFE IS UNFAIR The album’s name came about as a conclusion, incorporating the meanings of all of the songs. There are a lot of sad stories, a lot of suffering and pain. I don’t really mean to say it literally, as I do not think that life is truly unfair. But if I look through my own eyes at the times when those stories happened, that’s what they looked like: very unfair.
1. Unforgivable From the very beginning, the plan was to make this song in a summer dance style. When we created the demo it quickly gathered a large audience, so we decided to set this song as an opener for the album. But despite how cool it sounds, the story behind it isn’t so happy. It is one of the autobiographical songs. The real story happened in Stockholm, Sweden. It’s about my ex – my second husband (yeah, I was married twice :D) and about our life and the day we separated. When I was writing this song, I was clearly remembering our farewell in Stockholm, in the metro station T-Centralen. While the entire song is all about our life together, the chorus is specifically about our farewell day. All I remember is hundreds of people (during rush hour) walking everywhere as we stood looking into each other’s eyes. I was crying and I didn’t pay attention to the crowd. It’s like we were alone there and everything was frozen, then suddenly I understood that I was ‘’invisible’’ to him and there was nothing I could do to change that. I do not see this story as a tragedy long-ago. Besides, that decision was the best decision I have ever made. So I decided to make this song into a cool sunny song!
2. My World This is the first song I wrote after almost a 6 year break. I wasn’t confident about it at all, but it was while working on this song that I gathered the best team ever and we began our work on the album. This song is related to my life, but the situations I describe didn’t happen literally. The main meaning, of being alone and having no family, is part of my life and I felt that everything was falling apart around me. The second chorus is a different one because I wanted to show that there is hope even in the hardest of times. The part that relates to me the most is the bridge. I had one very complicated situation in my life where I didn’t see any solution; the only one would be a miracle. When I say ‘’don’t take that last step’’, it means do not commit suicide even when it’s hopeless. In my case, I saw a real miracle that I had never imagined possible.
3. Traveller This song is related to spiritual things as well as metaphorical phrases. It’s not a secret that I constantly feel a deep depression that I’ve experienced almost my whole life. Part of the reason is that I’ve always felt like a ‘’stranger’’ on Earth, like I do not belong here. People seem so cruel – not all of them but many of them. And I always felt like my soul wanted to escape this body and go back home, wherever home is… So this is my soul’s cry to return home. One of the keys that show that spiritual aspects are involved is the spiritual name for Earth that I use in the 2nd verse – Lady Gaia.
4. Prophecy (I can See the End) This is another autobiographical song, this time about my first husband. It’s just a small part of the story that happened in my real life. All that I sang there is true, including the gypsy. In fact there is nothing much to say; the full story is told in the song.
5. I Don’t Wanna Say Goodbye This is one more very real autobiographical story. Every word is the truth, so there is nothing much to say except that friendship really was always the most important thing to me. I did not really have a family, at least not for a long time. And she (the woman I sing about) was the most important person in my life. She was like a sister to me and much more. We were doing and going everywhere together. This friendship lasted no longer than 10 years. And well, the rest is in the song… One more fact is that I wrote this song in 10 minutes.
6. Soul Mate This song is about a true desire I’ve always had: to find my real soul mate who would never betray me as other people have done in the past. With this song, I wanna give hope to everyone that one day they might actually find someone. And I simply remember myself standing on the beach by night and staring at the stars and thinking that there’s somebody in some unknown spot of this planet, someone who I seek. Talking about the spot on this planet, I also mean a spot in another Universe :D. The phrase ‘’Oh To Mars’’ represents that.
7. Big Black Hole Oh Big Black Hole… Our team simply calls it BBH. This song is me; this song is about how I often feel. However, this song particularly describes my feelings during my time in London. The circumstances forced me to move to London temporarily for almost a year, but that year seemed to me like ten. It is not because I dislike London, but because I simply wanted to be in another place. And well… you need to plunge into the atmosphere of this song if you want to feel my soul and feelings fully.
8. We All Are Different The idea for this song hit me suddenly and very unexpectedly. I’m against any type of discrimination, so this song is my support for all of the different people in the world. This means that no matter what your nationality, color, sexuality, gender, education and etc – you are not worse than anyone else!!! You are the same beautiful soul!
9. Daddy This is one more autobiographical song that tells the real story of my life. We had a long discussion as to whether or not this song should be included in the album, as it is a very personal song. But I really think that absolutely everyone has one or more issues with a parent or relative or anybody else… So everyone can relate it to their lives somehow.
10. I Will Fight Like the rest of the songs, it tells a story that is related to my life. It’s not one precise story, but a story that shows my definition as a person: how I see life and all about it. It's not an accident that this song was chosen as the closing song for the main tracks (the last song before the bonus tracks begin). The bridge is a generalization of all the previous songs, and it shouts out the album's name: "Sometimes Life Is Unfair..."
11. Like a Dream and Slovno Son Kristen: Like A Dream is one of my earliest songs. It relates more to my life than most people would think, and it takes some guts for me to get it out there for people to see. I spent most of my childhood as a wallflower, unsure of what to do and who to be. It seemed like the world was closing in on me, expecting me to be this perfect outgoing individual like the other kids were. It didn’t happen, and instead I immersed myself in music, singing and playing the piano by myself for hours on end and imagining myself as another person, one who was fearless. The storyteller in this song is a different version of me – I’m the brave one, telling another to stop worrying, to get out and have fun in the crowd. The lines ‘Where the lights are always flashing, the silence loud’, it means that rather than going to a nightclub for a good time, it takes us back to a simpler time where everyone stood under the stars as one, human and nothing more. Nastia translated this song into Russian, and I can honestly say it’s the coolest thing ever, to not only have your lyrics sung by a talented singer, but to hear them in a different language as well! Wow!
12. BandHub Jingle Well, it’s very clear from the name what this one is about. This song is different from the theme of the album; however, it shows my appreciation for the wonderful website that allowed me to meet my precious TEAM!!! If not for this website, who knows when I would have been able to release my album? So this website has united me and my team as well as musicians all over the world!